A Touching Reminder

I’ve been trying to put into words how an interaction I had today made me feel.

Earlier, I helped a couple who were shopping for their first pregnancy. They were kind, excited, and full of that quiet, hopeful energy that new parents carry. Some of my favorite interactions are with expecting parents. I genuinely love sharing the wonderful things they have to look forward to, the joy and depth that comes with becoming a mom or dad.

During their visit, my daughter Delilah woke up hard from a nap. She’s three, and she had BIG feelings with full-on crying, screaming, toddler chaos. Completely age-appropriate…and unfortunately, having a screaming toddler on a retail sales floor tends to make people want to escape the area as quickly as possible.

In our family, we talk a lot about emotions. I always tell my kids that it’s okay to feel however they feel. Whether they're angry, sad, frustrated, overwhelmed, it's all good but it’s not okay to be disruptive in public spaces. If they need to scream, cry, stomp, or let it all out, they can do that in private. On the sales floor, they need to be calm, in control, and listening. They also know that they can always come to me for help with their big feelings.

I followed that same routine with Delilah today. She was upset about needing to stay in the back and even tried to apologize for having big feelings. I reminded her that her emotions were okay, that she wasn’t in trouble, but that she still needed to stay in the back so we wouldn’t disrupt shoppers. I told her I could help her back there if she needed anything, she just had to let me know.

After a few minutes, she came back out when she felt ready to try again. She did an amazing job. She took deep breaths, stayed near me behind the counter, and listened. I let her know it was okay if she needed another break. She told me she felt like she needed to scream into a pillow and wanted me to get one for her. I immediately did..

Then she angrily told me she didn’t want the pillow anymore. Very on-brand toddler behavior.

I calmly said, “My love, it’s perfectly okay if you changed your mind, but I won’t allow you to speak to me like that. You can speak respectfully, even when you’re having big feelings.” We’ve been practicing this, so she rephrased what she wanted in a kinder voice.

What I didn’t realize in that moment was that the couple had been listening.

They were ready to check out, so I turned my attention to them. I was completely caught off guard when the mom told me how impressed she was with how I handled Delilah. I brushed it off and said it was easy because Delilah is such a wonderful girl. She so rarely has big tantrums and she truly handles them better than just about any kid I've known. I'm always so blown away by her.

She told me something that struck a chord. She said she hadn’t been taught emotional regulation as a child and had to struggle to learn it as an adult. I shared that I had a similar upbringing and that I didn’t want my kids to struggle the way I did.

After they left, I took Delilah into the back for some cuddles. She loves a little decompression after working through such a big emotional moment.

A couple of hours later, the same couple came back.

I said, “Oh! Welcome back!” and the mom told me she had gotten me a gift.

She explained that her parents were entrepreneurs and that she went everywhere with them as a child. She knew how hard it was. She handed me a spa day and told me it was a reminder to take care of myself and that I can’t pour from an empty cup.

I cried. She cried. We hugged. It was a mess.

After they left, I went into the back room and cried some more.

I am so grateful. So touched. I can't even explain how that made me feel. I'm trying and I simply don't have the words.

To that mom: I am so sorry I didn’t ask for your information. Your gift and your kindness overwhelmed me in the best way, and I could barely form words. Thank you. Having my parenting validated meant more than you know, and I truly needed the reminder to take care of myself.

You are the reason I do what I do.

I want to give back the support to other moms that I’ve received. I love meeting the women who walk through my door and hopefully touching their lives in the same way you touched mine today. I try so hard to give each mom an experience that makes her feel like a friend and not a dollar sign.

This isn’t about selling clothing or making money.

It’s about community.
It’s about work I’m deeply passionate about.
It’s about the moms who come in feeling uncomfortable, nervous, tired, scared, or alone.
It’s about being part of their village.
It’s about supporting the families in our community.

And today reminded me exactly why I’m here.